Becka & Zuri, Hopkins Ridge Wind Farm
We climbed up so close to the windmills we could hear the creaking of the giant blades as they turned.
We could feel the rush of wind.
We stayed until the sky turned pink, and driving home in the rain and the dark we talked about the fears that keep us awake at night, and what helps us feel safe.
"I’m looking to be useful
in the way that I was made to be
"A lot of the decisions I have made up to this point, as far as what I’m doing with my life,
are because of other people:
what other people have told me that I’m good at, and
what other people think that I should do."
"I realized recently that I was unhappy with my life:
I only experienced fleeting moments of joy and happiness,
and feeling like I’m doing what I should be doing.
"I realized that soon, I could be a completely different person
from what I ever wanted to be,
and there’s no way to get back to that."
what is holding me back?
What is stopping me?
What am I scared of?"
"In one day, I quit my job
and I signed up for culinary school
and I did it without telling anyone."
"I’m anxious about things like,
will I be able to pay my bills,
will I be successful,
will I be happy,
will I be bored of it in a couple of years."
"But the next step, after all of that, is:
you pick up the next day
and you go on, and
if you don’t like it then
you do something else."
"Sometimes anxiety keeps me awake at night,
and I’ll run loops of noises through my head
and I’ll think there’s someone in my house, or something bad is happening
to someone I love, or a storm is coming
and a tree will fall on the house."
"Zuri makes me feel safe."
"She goes to all my friends’ houses with me—even friends that maybe don’t want a dog
in their house.
But they love her."
"Zuri is my baby dinosaur.
She is a gentle giant."
"I just need to be within arm’s reach
of a helping hand, and
Zuri gives that to me: she’s my
"Now I get it: I get how an animal
can save your life."
"I have an ugly fear
of feeling like I’ll always
be misunderstood: like no one knows
or can connect with my soul."
"Love should bridge
that gap and we receive it from so many people —
but I am reminded when I am with my dog
that I don't have to be
"Zuri doesn’t understand me."
"She is simply here for me."
are like the unseen forces of the earth
and universe that remind us
that we are going to be alright,
even in the moments when we are the loneliest
and ugliest and most disconnected."